


Everybody (Nobody) Wants to be a Cat

by orphan_account



Series: No Humans Allowed [1]
Category: EXO (Band), K-pop
Genre: Cat Ears, Cat/Human Hybrids, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-19
Updated: 2014-08-19
Packaged: 2018-02-13 20:01:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 982
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2163357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Meet the Family</p>
            </blockquote>





	Everybody (Nobody) Wants to be a Cat

“Oh my,” The elderly cat at the door gasps. “This place is certainly…” She fumbles for a graceful way to describe her grandson’s “complicated” flat. Currently the words “quaint” and “bohemian” come to mind.

 

She settles on “bohemian”. Lu Han would like that, she thinks.

 

“Ah laolao so nice to see you.” Lu Han bows, pink ears flattened against his head nervously. The past ten hours since his grandmother announced her visit had been a hectic emotional roller coaster ride. The first few hours had Lu Han bolting around the flat, scrambling to tidy up. Though he and his mate had moved in several months ago both of them had just been so swamped with work they hadn’t even properly unpacked.

 

Lu Han internally cringes thinking of the panic he was in the day before. Frantically throwing out rubbish and begging his mate to get out his dress clothes.

 

_“Lu Han, it’s just your grandmother. She’ll probably just be ecstatic to see that you’re alive.”_

 

So Lu Han had resigned himself to accepting that his grandmother would see the squalor they lived in.

 

Until now.

 

“Nnnn,” Lu Han whines nervously in the back of his throat. “Laolao please come in. I’ll make some tea.” He walks to the kitchen, wringing the hem of his button-down shirt.

 

“Lu Han give your laolao a hug first.” The elderly cat grabs Lu Han and holds him in a bear hug. Stroking the soft space between his ears and trying to keep him from squirming. “Calm down, you’re going to take someone’s eye out with your tail. This is already nicer than what your mother had going at her age.” At her age she’s seen it all, though Lu Han’s new residence is lively enough to have her worried for his safety. Speaking of Lu Han staying safe…

 

“Say, your mother told me you were living with your mate. Is he home?”

 

Lu Han’s tail stands on end. Any marbles he may have collected immediately scatter off once again. 

 

“He’s sleeping. He works nights,” Lu Han says slowly. He had tried at first, begging his mate to be awake and presentable for his grandmother’s visit. Though in the end reality won. Fact of the matter was that his mate couldn’t afford to be sleepy on the job. So far his human boss seemed to be a pretty okay guy, hiring several cats to work at the bar but they were still reluctant to take any chances. Even during Lu Han’s heats he was hesitant about taking time off despite there being a law mandating paid holiday during such times. Some people liked employing cats as a novelty as long as they weren’t too, well, cat-like.

 

Then there was also the fact that he could kind of be a drag when woken up during the day. 

 

When Lu Han’s grandmother raises an eyebrow his tail goes wild in the face of his nerves. “It’s nothing shady! It’s just a bar and he’s good with his hands and-”

 

His grandmother shushes him. Mostly she wants Lu Han to calm down first. Poor boy, maybe it has something to do with the contrast between his mother’s lavish home and then his own dingy shared apartment in noisy boisterous Sodaemun. 

 

Setting the gifts she brought aside on a cluttered desk, she spies a sofa in the corner and walks toward it. “Come sit,” she murmurs tugging Lu Han along. 

 

Lu Han whimpers. He hears thumping from the floor above and he sincerely hopes it ends soon. Worse still he knows what’s coming next. “Laolao no,” he whines. “Laolao I’m a grown man, grown men don’t do that stuff.”

 

There’s this thing his grandmother used to do when he was a kitten. 

 

“Nonsense come over here.” Without waiting for Lu Han to respond Grandma Han pulls him down so that he was kneeling with his back facing the sofa. Before he can start fussing again, she runs her bony fingers along the backs of his ears.

 

There’s this thing his grandmother used to do when he was a kitten. Lu Han still isn’t sure what it is but it makes him melt into this disgustingly content puddle. Lu Han the ice king who sang weekend nights at the Pink Hole and tickled the ivory on weekdays. Tail batting to and fro and purring like a kitten.

 

He’d never hear the end of it if anyone saw.

 

Cue the door handle rattling.

 

“Lu Han are you home?” the tall cat with white ears at the door calls out before turning their way. “Oh!” 

 

He walks over and bows deeply in front of Lu Han’s grandmother. “Oh Sehun, Lu Han’s mate. Pleased to meet you.”

 

During that time Lu Han had been unfruitful in trying to escape his grandmother’s clutches. He tries to say something, “hi Sehun” or “you’re still not allowed to touch my ears” but all that comes out is loud purring.

 

“Did you make it here okay?” Sehun asks, ignoring Lu Han’s contribution. “It’s kind of a rough neighbourhood.”

 

She looks to Sehun for a moment then looks down at Lu Han. “I thought you said he was sleeping.”

 

Lu Han makes a pitiful warbling noise. He really did think Sehun was sleeping, apparently someone found it appropriate to wake up earlier than usual.

 

Sehun joins in on the staring. “You’re gonna have to do some translating. No rush though, you look cute.”

 

Lu Han groans, and racks his mind for any dirt he has on Sehun. After all, Sehun can’t blackmail him if he blackmails Sehun first. It’d be a shame if their boss were to hear that Sehun was bartending and below the drinking age. Except if Lu Han sinks Sehun then he sinks them both.

Curling up and covering his face, Lu Han prepares for a long week ahead of embarrassing childhood stories and coworkers teasing him.


End file.
